Catharine de Wit 's Obituary
Catharine “Kay” de Wit passed away on May 21, 2020 in Dallas, TX .
Kay was born in Philadelphia, PA., on September 14, 1935, to John Courtney and Mary Martha Feighery Courtney.
She was preceded in death by son Shawn de Wit, husband Michiel (Mickey) de Wit and brother Howard Courtney. She is survived by her children, Kirsten de Wit Olney (John Olney), Deirdre de Wit Pebworth (Charles Russell), Seth de Wit (Cecylia Z. de Wit), and Damiane de Wit-Guzman (Jose Guzman).
She is also survived by her six loving grandchildren, Nicholas Lonzo Pebworth, Shawn de Wit Olney, Ian McLean Olney, Claire Courtney Olney, Nicole K de Wit, and Michael Seth de Wit and by her siblings Joan Courtney, Sister Maria Goretti Courtney, George Courtney, Diane Courtney Honzen, and Linda Courtney, plus many wonderful nieces and nephews.
The first born of seven children, Kay grew up in Pennsylvania. Noted even as a child for her questing mind and curiosity, she was always interested in exploring the world around her, trying to understand the way things work.
When the family lived on a horse farm in Philipsburg, PA., she constantly had her head in books. A voracious reader, Kay was a frequent visitor to the town library and her brother remembers the summer Kay won a contest by reading all the books in the Nancy Drew series.
Calm and contemplative, Kay walked with her head down, pondering life. When as a girl she had to walk through a field to get to school, neighbors worried that the bull pastured there would get Kay, so deep in thought with her head down walking.
After earning a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry from Penn State University in 1957, Kay, one of the few women graduates in the chemistry program, moved to New Haven, CT to work. She had previously met a handsome young Dutchman named Michiel (Mickey) de Wit attending Yale University in New Haven.
Kay and Mickey were married on December 26, 1957. Two years later, Mickey accepted a position as a physicist with Texas Instruments in Dallas, TX., where he spent his entire 37-year distinguished career. And there in Dallas, TX - Kay and Mickey spent their lives together raising five children.
Inspired by faith and civic concern, Kay worked for equal rights, affirmative action, racial equality, and the school PTA, all the while rearing a family. She loved flowers, bird watching, gardening, reading, mystery novels, and more recently The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC. She also loved to listen to music, mostly classical, but two of her favorite modern songs were “Hey Jude” by the Beatles and “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” by B.J .Thomas.
Once Kay’s children were in school, she gave her all to favorite causes and during the 1970’s and 1980’s, worked for the Greater Dallas Housing Opportunity Center (GDHOC). There she championed fair housing for all, fought against housing discrimination and advocated for minority rights in the Dallas housing community.
Kay spent many years volunteering at the Catholic Interracial Council in Dallas with Monsignor Leon Duesman, who was a long time friend of the family. Kay also spent time reviewing spiritual books for the Contemplative Outreach of Dallas quarterly.
A savvy political player, Kay participated in many campaigns, acting as a consultant for numerous Dallas candidates and issues. In 1976, she managed the Dallas County campaign to elect Jimmy Carter president chaired by Rep. John Bryant. She also served as an aide to the progressive state representative in Pleasant Grove. Kay’s family remembers how she loved and was inspired by working for Rep. John Bryant for many years.
“I always wanted to be where Kay was,” Bryant says, “She was wisdom smiling at you, a saint who could say, ‘You’re wrong, but you’re OK’ or ‘You’re right and here’s a hug for your courage.’ She knew what book you needed to read – in my case Thomas Merton’s “The Seven Storey Mountain” – and she would give it to you.”
“Kay knew what you needed to hear – more than once I heard ‘You can do it’ – and it was a gift to be told you could. She could peer at you, pierce your pretense without a word and start laughing with you when you realized the game was up. And her laughter was full of love, just like her great big heart.”
Kay’s children remember her taking them to post political yard signs and knock on doors to encourage voter participation in Dallas neighborhoods, especially in minority based and under represented communities. And every election night she could be found, with her political friends, counting votes and compiling statistics on spreadsheets - before the rest of us knew what spreadsheets were.
Longtime friend Janelle Ellis, a veteran activist and teacher, says, “Kay and I walked precincts, worked the press, plus pasted copy on ads for Eddie Bernice Johnson, Sissy Farenthold, George McGovern and John Bryant campaigns. We shared a bond and a challenge as devout Catholic mothers who stood up for Peace and Social Justice. I will bask in the warmth of her kind, green Irish gaze and her sweet impish smile forever.”
An adventurous mom, Kay would pack up all her own kids plus a few of the neighbor’s kids along with the family dog in the VW van or family station wagon (no seat belts back then) and go camping around Texas, Louisiana, and Oklahoma. Some of her favorite sights to see were the Texas state flower, the bluebonnets in bloom, east Texas dogwood trees in blossom, the many lakes of Texas and specifically the mysterious Spanish moss at Caddo Lake.
In summer, the family would escape the Texas heat and travel across the country to vacation in Colorado, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Oklahoma and much of the East Coast. Mickey would drive for hours while Kay kept their children in a state of semi-controlled chaos. In their later years, Kay and Mickey would go to the Oregon and California coast, escaping the Texas heat, to read, contemplate and be cool in the summer.
In 1979-80, Kay worked for the Decennial Census in a five-county area of Texas, again advocating for proper representation based on population data. “An Irish pol at heart, Kay had strength, compassion and a sense of humor,” says Jane Sumner, her friend since they met at Physisissies, the Texas Instruments wives’ club in 1961.
“We both worked in the Census, Bill Hobby’s first run for lieutenant governor, George McGovern’s and Jimmy Carter’s presidential campaigns and John Bryant’s for state representative. Kay was a forgiving boss and administrator, kind, gentle, loving and fun.”
“She cared, really cared for people, animals and the planet. As a columnist covering film and TV production in Texas for The Dallas Morning News, Jane Sumner says I got to know many people. But Kay de Wit with her endearing wit, grace and passion for justice was the only real saint.”
In the ‘60s and ‘70s, Kay‘s contributions to her community included working with local food co-ops. Her kids tell how she woke them before dawn to accompany her to the Dallas downtown food co-op market to make sure only the freshest local farm products went into the delivery boxes. And they have tales of Kay’s growing sprouts in their refrigerator and other veggies in the back yard garden long before vegan was a well-known word.
After all her kids had flown the coop, Kay went back to college to spruce up her skills in Business Management, Computer Science, Accounting and Statistics. In 1981, she obtained a position at Sprint Internal Communications and worked her way up from Field Services to Distributed Systems and Wholesale Systems. She retired in 2001 as a Senior Manager from the telecommunications world in her 60’s.
Because of the Covid-19 crisis, her family could not be at her bedside to hold her hands and comfort her, but they were able to tell the hospital staff of their Mother’s wish to let her go peacefully. And in the quiet and considerate way Kay did everything, she slipped away.
“What a struggle it must have sometimes been,” John Bryant says, “for this ancient soul to hang around these many years to help us clumsy mortals stop tripping over ourselves. What a blessing to have known her. Kay de Wit, you were a glimpse of heaven.”
If so inclined in lieu of flowers, please donate in Kay’s name to Sisters of Christian Charity scceast.org, Osage Forest of Peace forestofpeace.org, League of Women Voters my.lwv.org/texas, American Bird Conservancy abcbirds.org or your favorite non profit animal rescue. Please contact a family member for memorial services information.
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