Jenetta Lea Grantham's Obituary
GRANTHAM, JENETTA LEA (STEPHENS) Throughout her life, Jenetta Grantham held close to the scripture reading of Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” In good times or bad, Jenetta believed strongly that God’s plan would reveal itself, recalled her son, Stephen. “Anytime anything bad would happen to us, she would always tell us that it was part of a greater plan.” And it was that strength of faith in God’s plan that guided her, even when facing a deadly cancer that eventually claimed her life. Jenetta Lea (Stephens) Grantham moved forward to the next phase of the Lord’s plan for her soul on Dec. 12, 2013, after waging a valiant battle against cancer. She was 57. Visitation will be held from 6:30-8:30 PM, Sunday, Dec. 15 at Restland Abbey Chapel. Funeral services will be held at 2:00 PM, Monday, Dec. 16, at First United Methodist Church of Richardson. Born Jan. 19, 1956 in tiny Hobart, OK, to Allene and Melvin Stephens, Jenetta was the younger of two sisters. The family moved to Oklahoma City when Jenetta was nearly 2 years old. Though her family continued to own land for cattle in western Oklahoma, drought and better economic opportunities drew the Stephens family to the city, where her father opened an industrial supply business. It was in elementary school when Jenetta’s intellectual light began to shine. In fact, her grades were so impressive that by middle school her friends began calling her “The Brain.” After graduating top of her class from Heritage Hall High School, Jenetta carried an academic scholarship to Oklahoma State University, where she earned her degree in accounting, again at the top of her class. “There was Jenetta and a boy in our class who were constantly vying for top spot,” said college classmate and friend, Jill Stauffer. “It was back and forth all the time, but Jenetta won the gold medal.” In fact, upon graduation, she took the 4-part Certified Public Accountant exam and not only passed all sections on her first attempt, but scored No.1 in the state of Oklahoma, and was one of the top 15 scores nationwide. “That’s the way it was with Jenetta,” Stauffer said, “with her it was 100 percent or nothing.” That drive to excel was evident even in her early school years. Because she had a slight speech impediment as a child, Jenetta enrolled in speech and drama courses in high school to help her overcome her speaking challenge. “I remember her telling me that she loved doing her Southern Belle and British accents,” said her daughter, Melody Gardner. Possessing a determination to be the best, and always on her terms, Jenetta demanded much of herself, and was willing to doggedly pursue that which she desired. And that philosophy held true as well when choosing a date. “We met in a Russian history class back in my senior year,” said Dale Grantham. “I was smitten, but she took a little longer to convince.” Joked her older sister, Jenyne, “Daddy was very practical. He taught us to inspect the return on investment in choosing boys to date.” Jenetta recognized, according to her sister, that Dale was in the Kappa Sigma fraternity, and that was considered a plus for a couple of reasons. “No. 1, they threw good parties, and No. 2, they had good food at those parties. Daddy had us on a 15-meal-a-week food plan, so if we could find a date who would take us to dinner, that was a good ROI.” But even with all that Kappa Sig swagger, Dale still had to be a persistent salesman to close the deal and persuade Jenetta to marry him. “I had to ask her 20 times before she said yes,” he said. “We had a mantra – I would ask ‘Do you love me?’ She would always answer ‘Yes.’ I would then ask ‘Enough to marry me?’, and she would answer ‘No.’ In fact, I’d been turned down so many times, when she finally did say yes, I said, ‘What?'” Even then, Jenetta’s common sense and determination won the day. “I was a lowly grad student by the time she agreed to marry me,” Dale said. “I was barely scraping by working part-time at McDonald’s, but I wanted to get her a nice engagement ring. Being ever so practical, Jenetta insisted that any ring I put on her finger had to be paid for before she would accept it. So, I got her what I could afford, which wasn’t much, but she never complained. And she didn’t take those rings off until she went into the hospital the first time during this ordeal.” Dale’s younger brother, Louis, said that having Jenetta around was like having another big sister. “I was 10 when Jenetta and Dale started dating,” Louis said. “She practically helped raise me. I was – and still am – a smart alec, and she wasn’t. When I would smart off, she would take me aside, put her foot down and set me straight. She was loving and caring, but she set down the rules, and they were non-negotiable … in a loving way.” That compassion for family was recalled by another of Dale’s brothers, Yancey. “When I was a young man, I moved from Oklahoma to Dallas only because she opened up her home for me,” Yancey said. “She knew I liked Angel food cake, and she wanted to bake me one. Now Jenetta was the first to admit that she wasn’t a wiz in the kitchen, but she was willing to try. She got out a recipe book and made that cake from scratch; said she wanted to make it like my grandmother made it, but it wasn’t quite as good. Later she asked my grandmother what her secret recipe was, and Granny said: Duncan Hines. I don’t think Jenetta ever baked a cake from scratch again.” Despite her many personal gifts and talents, Jenetta was proudest of her two children. Melody and Stephen were two of the brightest lights in her life. She was so proud of Melody’s accomplishments in nursing, and she spoke with delight over Stephen’s desire to expand his horizons. “Mom loved to travel,” said Stephen, who studied and later lived in China. “She was insistent on me traveling and studying abroad, and now I find that I have the same desire.” When Melody married Michael Gardner and bestowed two beautiful grandchildren, Anna and Elizabeth, on the family, Jenetta was overjoyed. Spoiling her two granddaughters was one of the joys of her life. Jenetta’s giving and caring nature extended beyond her family. Her friends from church, from the Boy Scouts, and especially her beloved Bunco group were always top of mind for Jenetta. “My husband had a pacemaker, and she always wanted to make sure he was taking care of himself,” said Marlene Nascimento. “Even after she found out about her cancer, when I would come to see her, she always asked first about my husband’s health before even discussing her condition.” Jenetta’s commitment to her Christian faith was strong, and it was further deepened by her Walk to Emmaus. It was in 1994 that Jenetta took her first steps into her Emmaus Walk, and it impacted not only her life, but the lives of many others. “Jenetta loved the organization, Walk to Emmaus,” said her friend Flo Smith. “The walk made such a difference in Jenetta’s life. I’ve known Jenetta for almost 18 years, and I’m convinced that my life is different and better than it would’ve been if I had not sat next to her for that entire Emmaus weekend. She just had so much love for the Body of Christ, and it simply spilled over onto me. She changed my life.” Over the years, Jenetta’s commitment to the Walk to Emmaus grew. She held every position in the organization, but she always maintained a close bond with Flo and others from the group. “We formed an accountability group after my walk,” Flo said. “We were at the Spring Valley United Methodist Church, so we called ourselves the Spring Chicks. Our saying was, ‘Once a Spring Chick, always a Spring Chick.’ She was my accountability partner, my Reunion Sister, my Emmaus Sister, and she’ll be my sister forever. She touched my life; she touched so many lives. Her laughter, her love for anybody who loved our Lord, was immeasurable.” Eventually Jenetta and Dale transferred membership to First United Methodist Church of Richardson, and it was here that Jenetta’s influence and commitment were again felt. They volunteered with the Explorers Class and eventually served as vice presidents of that group, setting curriculum and arranging for instructors. Jenetta joined the United Methodist Women’s group and, thanks to her accounting background, quickly became Treasurer, handling all money matters with her customary efficiency. Being a servant leader was part of her DNA, so it wasn’t surprising to find Jenetta deeply involved in a church group focused on teen girls. “I got a bee in my bonnet several years ago to start a teen circle for girls,” said Tina Graves, a lay volunteer at the church. “It was for junior high and high school-aged girls. We called it Kaleidoscope. Of course, with youth groups, you have to have two adult chaperones at all times. My first partner in this endeavor had to move away due to a job change, so Jenetta stepped in. Oh, how she loved and nurtured those girls. She was always there for them, and they knew that they could count on her. I never had to worry about her not being there, because when Jenetta committed to something, she was definitely going to do it. She did that for three years, and I know she made a huge impact on those girls. She was just awesome! I know that her passing leaves big holes in our church and in our hearts.” Personal commitment is a thread that was woven into the fabric that made up Jenetta Grantham. Whether it was for a day, a week, a year or a decade, the strength of that commitment was a bond that Jenetta could not and would not break. Perhaps the longest commitment outside of her family and her God was to her social network – her Bunco group. Throughout the country, Bunco groups are popular among mothers with similar-aged children. Getting together once a month to roll dice and socialize provides a forum to keep up to date on the latest news, trends and gossip relating to everything from families, neighborhoods and school. Jenetta was no different. “I met Jenetta through our Bunco group,” said Cindy Kirchner. “There were six ladies with little boys and six ladies with little girls all in the same kindergarten class. We’d meet on the first Monday of every month, and we’ve done that for 19 years. “Bunco was the place to gossip about the kids, the teachers, the administrators, and everyone on the PTA board. For those of us who worked outside the home, Bunco was important because we weren’t volunteering in the school cafeteria. It was the way we kept our finger on the pulse of what was going on.” Cindy noted that Jenetta’s commitment was so strong that she absolutely never missed a Bunco party. “She had a job that required her to monitor financial markets around the world, and she took it very seriously,” Cindy said. “But no matter what was happening at work, she told her boss that on the first Monday of every month, she was leaving for Bunco. She might rush in a little late, but she never missed. Even at our gathering in November, when Jenetta had been diagnosed, she attended. She was short of breath and could barely walk to the front door, but she was not going to miss Bunco.” It is not unusual, Cindy noted, for Bunco groups to dissolve once the children had graduated, thus severing the common bond, but that was not the case with this Bunco group. “We’ve been going strong for 19 years,” she said. “Though some of the original group have moved away, we’ve replaced them with equally committed individuals, and the core of the group is still together. Such is the bond we share.” Jenetta’s passing, sad to say, was not the first death in the Bunco group. Kim Roberts, one of the group’s founders, died of breast cancer less than one month before Jenetta’s death. “The only sad eyes I saw in Jenetta during her fight was the day she realized she was too ill to go to Kim’s funeral because she was in the hospital fighting for her own life,” Cindy said. “It hurt her deeply that she couldn’t be with us to say goodbye to our friend.” The fight against breast cancer was important to Jenetta and each member of the Bunco group. Their bond was strengthened during their training and participation in the 2008 Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk Against Cancer. “It was during those long training walks, where we would walk 12, 15, 16 miles at a time that our bond was deepened,” Cindy said. “We did that walk. We finished it. We were Sisters Forever.” Forever. It’s a theme that echoes through the life of Jenetta Grantham. No one knew that forever, at least in this lifetime, would end so soon. But Jenetta understood that it was not her decision to make. And so, even though she had no concept of what God’s plan for her might be, Jenetta accepted it with remarkable and customary grace, and with a powerful and unyielding faith. It is said that every soul is filled with light, and in the case of Jenetta Grantham, that light shone brightly and will continue to glow in the hearts of all who knew her … forever.
What’s your fondest memory of Jenetta?
What’s a lesson you learned from Jenetta?
Share a story where Jenetta's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Jenetta you’ll never forget.
How did Jenetta make you smile?