Your Dad
Jerry, I'm so sorry that I was never there for you. It wasn't that I didn't love you, it was just I was too damn immature to want to handle the responsibility of having a family. Plus, if you add my alcohol addiction, it make for a volatile combination, which it did. I can't blame you for being angry at me. I shared the same kind of anger with my father. So I can say I know how you felt. The times we had in Florida when I would come down to Siesta Key for vacation were happy for real and I enjoyed having you with me. I think you had a good time also. (Except the last trip when I flew Jennifer down). We were both at fault, there. I guess I just wanted to tell you these things and to let you know that I've always loved you, I just never knew how to show it. Your mom is an Angel from heaven, for sure. I was so proud of her. She was the perfect wife, mother and friend. She took care of you when I didn't want to. Believe me, Jerry I really wanted to be a good husband and father, but marriage and a kid just cramped my lifestyle. Maybe that's why I never remarried. Please believe me Jerry when I say I love you, cause I do. I God knows how much I miss you, as a fishing, golf and drinking buddy and a son. I was very very proud of you, I want you to know that. You were so smart and up on things, and quite the ladies man. I can to this day remember the day you were conceived, I was mad and threw your mom's birth control pills in the toilet and flushed them. I felt her drifting away from me because of my drinking, and I thought if I got her pregnant it would solidify our relationship. I then took her into the bedroom and made love to her. I just knew that when we finished I had accomplished what I set out to do. I could just tell. AS you probably already know, I've got your pictures throughout my apartment and office, as a constant reminder of what an asshole I was, and what a good looking, nice kid you were. God bless you Jerry, and I hope that someday you'll forgive me for what I did. I hope to see you in heaven…. if God will let me in……. sincerely, Your dad