Son, I can't move past me finding out. Every day after has been movement in a blur. My reality is so foggy and unclear at the moment. I still feel you are out doing tattoos and living your life and I will hear from you soon. I won't dare share these things on fb or tell anyone. I was really glad to see that I can leave messages on here. Healthy or not, for now, here is where I will use to talk. Feel like I am getting it out.
I love you more than life itself. Seeing you always made me feel so complete. I always told you that all of you took parts of me. You took the fearless, "do my own thing" part. That is why I rocked for you so hard. Some may not have understood why I ran to you everytime you needed me. NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON. If you asked for anything, I tried everthing in my power to provide because you never asked unless you needed it. You would much rather go get it on your own.
No one will ever be able to take away the fact that no matter what you did or did not do in your life, YOU ADORED YOUR GIRLS. And in turn, they adored their father. Not one person can deny that. My only regret is that you did not get to spend as much time with them as you wanted to. I regret the blocks that were put in place to keep you from what you loved most in life. I regret that you were not able to take advantage of all of the time that you requested to be with them just to be with them. I know they will miss not being able to spend time with you at all. I know that you know we (Me, Emanuel and Takeevia) will NEVER let them go. We will hold onto them for dear life for the rest of our life. That is a promise. (Sad that this had to happen to create willing hearts. And I digress)
The belief that brings me comfort is that you are with the one person that was missing you as much as I am now and that I Momma. And to be honest with myself, I know that your life drastically changed when she left as well.
I want to stop here.
