Mary Louise Hayter's Obituary
Mary Louise Huckaby-Allen-Hayter Mary Lou, as she was known, lived a life of love and friendship beginning in Fort Worth, Texas, on May 24, 1911 and ending peacefully at age 98 in San Ramon, California on February 13, 2010. Her parents were Charles Edwin Hurt Huckaby, originally of Griffin, Georgia and Jennie Mulligan Brown originally of Scottsville, Kentucky. C.E. , a Deputy Tax Collector for Tarrant County, passed away in 1921 when she was ten. Jennie, shortly thereafter, began supporting Mary Lou and her big brother by operating a cigar stand in a hotel in Ft Worth. Jennie’s pictures reveal the origins of Mary Lou’s independence and style. She was predeceased by her brother and sister-in law Edwin and Dorothy Huckaby, husbands William Lloyd Allen Texas and Jerry Madison Hayter and relatives and close friends including C. J. Mickey Brown, Pauline and Charlie Schneider, Roy and Josie Cuno, Lena and Tommy Mc Glasson, Evelyn and Mabry Korn, George and Helen Faris and Maggie Lee and Beach Mott. She is survived by many who loved her deeply including son and daughter-in-law Richard (aka Dick) and Beth and grand children Brian, Todd and Nicole Allen. Her beloved brother’s family includes Sharon Carter and Marcia Huckaby, Great Niece Jaque Cox and her daughter Jessica. Relatives from her father’s side of the family include Sandy Toledo and Paula and Tom Schneider and their children and grandchildren, as well as Carol Brown. Browns on her mother’s side of the family include Katherine, wife of C.J. , and their daughter, Barbara Watson. She graduated from Forest Avenue High school in 1928. Her employment with Southwestern Bell spanned nearly 39 years beginning in Dallas on November 12, 1936 until her retirement in Austin on June 30, 1975. She was active in the National Secretaries Association and the Telephone Company Pioneers. Her motto was, “Once you find a friend, never let them go.” Her memory was virtually encyclopedic, particularly when it came to remembering the names and family details of practically anyone she met. She was extraordinarily outgoing and absolutely loved to dance. She was spontaneous and independent. Her will and determination were insurmountable. A new bright star is now in heaven…and we suspect she is trying to reorganize the place! Visitation will be from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. on Friday February 19, 2010 at Restland Funeral Home and Cemetery 9220 Restland Road Dallas, TX 75243 (972) 238-7111. Services will be begin at 12:30 p.m. on Saturday February 20, 2010 in the Wildwood Chapel also at Restland. Interment will follow at Whispering Waters. https://www.restlandfuneralhome.com/ Mary Lou enjoyed traveling. Her excursions over the years with relatives and the Telephone Company Pioneers included the Bahamas, Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Thailand. While living in Austin, she would drive her friend, Gertrude, to her favorite cottage in Wisconsin each spring. She also took adventurous trips to Pikes Peak and Monterey Mexico where she and Dick rode burros to the top of Horsetail Falls. Years later, she camped in Big Bend National Park while riding with Dick, Beth, Brian and Todd in a Volkswagen bus as they travelled from Texas to California. During her 16 year marriage to Lloyd Allen, she endeared herself to his relatives, in particular Lloyd’s Niece Elizabeth Allen who resided with them approximately a year following the incapacitation of her mother and Lloyd’s youngest sister, Virginia. Although the marriage ended in 1951, those affections have endured. For a period thereafter, Mary Lou moved to several locations in Dallas and Oak Cliff. Finally, she decided to transfer to Austin with the thought that, if he lived at home, she could afford to send Dick to the University of Texas. While in Austin, she once again began to accumulate a host of friends. Among the closest were George and Helen Faris and their daughter Jo Linda (now Brister) George was the cousin of Dorothy Lee Faris, Mary Lou’s sister in law. They had a beautiful home and lovely back yard where Dick and Jo Linda would sit and listen to the frogs. Mary Lou remained in Austin following Dick’s graduation from the University in 1964. Some 20 years later, at the age of 73 she married Jerry Hayter on June 2, 1984. Jerry and his first wife (also named Mary) and Mary Lou and Lloyd had been friends in Dallas in the early years of their respective marriages. At the time of her marriage to Jerry, she moved back to Dallas where she and Jerry were members of the Central Christian Church. Regretfully, their time together was all too short. Jerry passed away on March 16, 1990, but shortly before that, they sold their home and moved to an apartment on Ferguson Road in which Lloyd, and his wife of over 20 years, Inez, were also living. It was common for the two couples to enjoy each other’s company over a game of dominos. She loved and enjoyed Jerry and reminisced about him for as long as she lived. Following Jerry’s passing; she remained at the Ferguson Road address for a while and formed an enduring friendship with Allyson Semple, a nurse now residing in New Jersey. In the early 1990’s she moved back to Austin and lived at Westminster Manor where she acquired new friends (including Marguerite Flournoy, Virginia Pike, Butheita Norwood, and Bill and Opal Howard) and renewed old ones (including Mr. and Mrs. Fount Kelly, Frances Dikeman, Nara and Ruth Carter, Alice Carlton, and Ruth Grossner). In 2004 she suffered a major stroke prompting Dick and Beth to move her to California to be closer to them in December of that year. At that time, and many, many other times before and after, Paula and Tom Schneider and Sandy Toledo came to her assistance. While Dick was recovering from surgery, Paula and Tom moved most of her possessions into storage, and Sandy accompanied her, Dick and Beth on the flight to California. At the beginning of the flight, Mary Lou was sitting in the front of the plane and had a significant enough effect on the speed of boarding to warrant the attendant’s attention as she greeted each passenger. In March 2005, Dick and Beth flew to Texas, rented a U-haul Trailer and experienced four days of bumpy “togetherness” as they moved her belongings to California. Of course, Mary Lou was not new to California. She had travelled there many times to visit Dick and Beth, endearing herself to Beth’s parents Max and Alma Rucker, her brother Bob and other family members including Adele Smith, Pauline Thompson, Carol Silliman and Ken and Sally Thompson. She also touched many of Dick and Beth’s neighbors and friends. So, upon becoming a “Texafornian” she had a built in support group that was available for her birthdays and other events like watching fireworks from the back yard on the fourth of July. “Regulars” included Susan and Chuck Christensen and their daughters Sarah and Loren as well as Garald and Marilyn Mosher and Garald’s mother, Sue. It also included Lucy Weed and her father Te Y Lou and son David with whom she celebrated Thanksgivings and Christmas. Another significant relationship was with Dick and Beth’s Frisbee catching McNab dog, Cody. She was the only person to whom he would automatically defer. The rest of the family members were fair game for his herding intimidation mode. That fact notwithstanding, Mary Lou, would sometimes complain good naturedly that he received better treatment than she did. But when she did that, the family would invite her to compare her plate to his food bowl. Partially compensating for her comparative “mistreatment” while in California, Mary Lou enjoyed visits from Allyson Semple and Elizabeth Allen and her sister Dorothy. Paula and Tom Schneider also travelled to San Ramon with grandchildren Lawson and Rainey. Recently she also received a visit from Paula and Tom’s daughter Brooke Spencer. She also got trips to the beauty shop almost every other week. For about a year following her arrival in California, she resided at Pleasanton Nursing Center where she made friends and was teased about one fellow who had taken an interest in her. She also met and became close to one of Beth’s parents closest friend, Dorothy Emmrich. For a while, her health improved. In January 2006, she was able to upscale to the Villa San Ramon where she was able to participate in more activities and have a private apartment. While there, she made more friends and was able to spend time with Chuck Christensen’s mother, Frances. In October, 2006 she suffered a fall and experienced other setbacks as the dementia began to take its toll. Her care requirements now increased, and her family was able to locate a residential care facility about a mile from their house. For the rest of her time, she received loving, patient, care beyond imagination from the staff of Abigail’s Guest Home, Malou Aguilar and Dennis Patimo. She also received enormous support and attention from owners Aurelia and Jess Mendoza…who also happen to be Telephone Company Pioneers. She loved children and she always bloomed when around them or receiving pictures of them. Jessica Cox, as far as she was concerned “hung the moon. She adored Mary Alice, Cameron, Thomas, Lawson, Rainy Spencer, Coleman, Presley and Peighton Starch and Vienna Vasquez. As they grew up, the mothers of those children Loren, Kathy and Blair also witnessed that special side of her. She always reserved a special place in her heart for Clark Toledo. While at Abigail’s, her days were frequently brightened by her caregivers’ son, Dominic. Her own grandchildren were able to return the love she had shown them over the years, particularly when the chips were down. On one occasion, when she was recovering from an operation, Brian was home on leave from Iraq and brought her a camouflage hat which she treasured and sometimes wore. On another occasion, Todd, the family’s crown prince of comedy, would always raise her spirits, particularly when demonstrated how to wear an Easter bonnet. Todd’s serious side was demonstrated when he responded to last minute calls from Dick who would be caught in freeway traffic on his way to pick up grandma for her beauty shop appointment. When she began her final decline, Nicole appeared one day for lunch and, for a brief afternoon, her spirits were raised. Both Todd and Nicole were with her shortly before she passed. Brian, who is in Kuwait on his way home in March, would have given anything to be here. But Mary Lou knew he was on his way home following his third tour in Iraq…and that was the important thing to her. For her son, Dick and daughter-in-law Beth, she was a constant in their marriage that is now approaching 43 years. They will not miss her, because she will always be with them.
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