Zach Owens
I was too numb to speak at the funeral and have always dwelt on what I could have said. That no immediate family spoke at length pained me. That there are no words here pains me. It's been years and I've not been able to open up about how deeply Papaw's passing touched me. I have not forgotten my Papaw. The best of who I am is due in great part from the example I had. He was always there for me. I hope that the best parts of him survive in me. Not a perfect man by any measure. He was not always proper or nice. He had a sharp wit at times and could make you laugh with a wink. I grew up with him lounging around in slacks and suspenders in a tank top or undershirt. He'd earned his casual attire though working hard, but he could always clean up fine for Church or a night out. I'll miss his stories of growing up and going through Scouts and the Navy. He inspired me to be greater than I was. He was the reason I went through Scouts. I wanted to be just like Papaw. I wasn't able to be with him at the end but I'll never forget that even though he wasn't supposed to speak or use his voice he honored me by saying what words he could. The loss of one of the greatest men I've ever known will be with me until I too am gone. Words cannot describe this feeling. I'll never get to tell him I love him in this world again. I hope I make him proud. I remember the good, the bad, and what little ugly there is that I was around for. I remember the war crimes he left in the bathroom we used to tease him about. I remember sitting on his lap watching Johnny Quest and Mighty Mouse and falling asleep in his arms. I remember the pain on his face when he mad Travis cry and how upset he was when he apologized to a little boy. He never made either one of us cry again I think. He once asked me in passing if he and were buddies. I always told him we were best buddies and I hope it made his day every time he asked. I remember him telling me of Korea. Not his whole story but a few of his misfortunes and his highlights that he felt he could share. During a watch on deck in winter he had to use the on deck facilities and his rear end got stuck to the metal seat, hollering for help as the ship swayed in the water he was helpless until a crew mate came to hear what the commotion was. We laughed til tears streamed when he was telling me. His raspy Southern drawl staccato'd by fits of laughter. His love for my Mimi showed me what a marriage is supposed to look like. A marriage that I would envy. He got lucky and married one of the most beautiful women I've ever known and get to have as a grandmother. Hearing how he and Mimi got together is to this day one the most touching stories I'll ever hear. It's rare that you see love that strong and I'm glad I was there for part of it. I hope that with words now shared that anyone that comes across this and has a memory that they will not feel as I did and stay silent for so long. I love you Papaw. Always. Your grandson, Zach